Waiting

So, I guess by now you have realized that I have more potential serious health issues.
I am trying to be strong. Trying to be positive, trying not to worry. Trying to maintain normalcy for my girls.
Its not easy.
A few hours ago i was fine. In the car with Nanna driving back from the other side of town. I was singing at the top of my lungs with her the old song, I think the original was by Karen Carpenter, "Sing, Sing a Song."
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I was happy. I was wondering what I had to worry about.

Now, 3 hours later I am a mess. I am sobbing uncontrollably.

I think mostly it is the unknown. Not know what it is exactly that I am dealing with.

I am watching the clock and watching the phone.
I am checking my email to see if my test results have posted yet.
It has only been 24 hours, I am not sure what I expect.
but I am nervous.
I am scared,
and I dont want to miss a moment with my girls.
I love them so much and I dont want to hurt them,