Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand

Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand
Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand

Friday, July 8, 2011

Nanna Banana / Stranger Danger

I began writing about Nanna in one post. as I am re-thinking it, i think i will do it a bit different, as she is so very complex. Nanna has been neglected, Mal-nourished and possibly physically and sexually abused, all prior to 14 months old.
It has amazed me that this child can remember soe of the things that happened in her early life and that it is still having such a significant affect on her life today.
One of her quirky things is both interesting and alarming at the same time. She has no fear of strangers. None.

Our  foster sons have weekly visitation with their bio parents at our city park which had a very large play area. In an attempt to be sure the boys made their visitation, the girls wandered off. I figured they would be drawn to the water play that is in the middle of the playground, and figured they would be OK while I waited for the boys parents. Soon after the boys parents got there, and I did have a visual on them. so when the boys parents arrived, I headed toward the girls. When I nearly got there, here comes my attachment disorder daughter clinging to someone she did not know and the woman was holding her tight. "there's my mommy!" "your daughter said she had been looking for you for a long time!" She gave my daughter a huge hug. (a little jealous I was that she would give a total stranger a hug, but not her mother!).
I told her I would be on the bench by the play area, I could see her. She waved to me several times.
A few minutes later, here she comes with another woman, clinging as before. I was still on the bench. A few minutes later, I saw her talking with yet another woman, and went and got her, but it was too late, she had already pleaded her case. 4 more times she did this until finally the first woman brought her back to me with a huge lecture on responsibility and how she was tempted to turn me in for neglect.
I an never sure how much to disclose to people, but the game and attention seeking was out of control. Yet, in a weird way, it was kind of interesting to watch her over and over with this game. And it was scary to think that she so freely talks to strangers even tho we go over and over how dangerous it is. She even repeats the rules back to me, but..... Well, not so much in reality.
She is always just going up to strangers, asking them for gum, or their jewelry. I am completely mortified when she does this, and embarrassed at my little beggar child, but you would be surprised at how many people will oblige the behavior.. Yes, complex she is!