Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand

Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand
Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand

Thursday, September 22, 2011

My messy house

Dirty dishes prove I feed my kids,
Full trashcans prove I change my baby's diapers,
Messy floors prove that I let my kids have fun,
Piles of clothes prove I keep my kids in clean clothes,

A messy bathroom proves that I bathe my children!
A front yard littered with bikes and balls proves my children are active and healthy.

So next time you walk into my house and see a mess, think twice before you judge!!!

A friend of mine posted this on facebook. there is another line to it that says "The best memories are not made in a home that is too tidy"... or something like this.

So, I was thinking about this, as I looked around at my home and realized that my home must have been the model for this philosophy. As I sit here, I look around. there are only about 4 dishes and 2 spoons in the sink, but the dishwasher is needing to be emptied. My kitchen table is full of "play-doh" toys, a empty juice box and a bag of bird seed. There are socks sitting in a basket on my couch waiting to be folded. There are crayons and coloring books on the coffee table and a dolly stroller upside down in the middle of the floor. there are also random dog toys kicking about, and a kitchen floor in need of mopping.

So why am I sharing my "dirty laundry" (nearly literally)? well, like I said, this made me think back on some of my favorite memories.
Playing at one of my early childhood friends house in an old cardboard box placed on top of a bed with pillows and blankets and dolls all over. making crafts all over their kitchen table, and digging holes in their backyard.
I spent a lot of time in a home where there were kids running in and out all the time, the boys bounced balls in the house, and if you were hungry, you helped yourself to whatever they had, and it was OK. There was usually socks hanging around, and the kitchen floor seemed to always need sweeping. (even though I know for a fact that it was indeed swept at least 2x a day.)

Then I look back on some other homes that I spent time in as a child. My grandparents. One of them the house was always neat, orderly and you didnt dare touch ANYTHING. when you went there, you sat on the couch.
My other grandparents always had a plate of treats, a few cups in the sink, yesterdays newspaper on the end table, and a basement that had a bed full of blankets just right for making tents or jumping on.
Which one do you think I look back on with fond memories?

I had a few aunts that were the same way. And a few friends homes. As a child I remember going to one of my friends homes and wanting so bad to play basketball. I could have only been 5 or 6. We were told we could only play outside on the patio and weren't even allowed on the grass. I bounced the ball and it went right through their screen door and knocked over their table centerpiece.  I felt horrible and I never went to play there again.
Even my own childhood home. I have good memories of playing by myself or with my family, but when i think of playing with friends at my house, I have very few of them. I do not remember playing at my house much. I think that to my friends our home WAS one of the stiff homes.
My point is, that in the "pristine homes", that is what i remember. they were cold, hard, stiff, and i felt like I had to sit up straight like a porcelain doll. I also did not like to go there, I did not enjoy being there, and.... I did not have good memories of those places. Actually, really, no memories at all other that feeling anxious that i would do something wrong.
The homes where there were a few things out of place sometimes left room for freedom, expression and being allowed to make mistakes and even comfort.

This really made me think when Recently we had 2 boys come to our home from foster care. We were their second placement. Their first placement was a home that had white carpet and not a thing out of place. The boys, I was told by the foster mom at that time, were having real issues and struggles.
When we got them here, we saw none of the problems the first foster family reported. I think part of the reason was that our house is NOT pristine and mistakes are allowed, as well as freedom to be a kid. They even asked what would happen if they made a mistake, and I think that just being allowed to make the mistake loosened them up enough that they weren't so uptight about being in our home.

There is a big  difference in having a dirty home, and having one that is a little untidy.

If you are a parent with a pristine home, That's great for you. I am glad you can do it and I really applaud your efforts. As for me? I will keep my home with my bathtub full of toys.

come to my house, take kick your shoes off if you want, plop yourself down in the easy chair and kick up the foot stool. Take a nap if you wish. or grab the TV remote. Sit down at the kitchen table and there is usually  a deck of cards nearby for a quick game of solitaire if you wish. Help yourself to a snack. Be comfortable. spills can be mopped, cups can be replaced,

As for me? I choose to exchange stiffness with laughter, love and good times.

But... that's just me.

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