Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand

Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand
Nanna Banana holding daddy's hand

Monday, September 5, 2011

The boys left

It is with heavy heart that I write that the boys left us Friday morning. Ironic, I think, that it is one year after the girls were officially ours.
The courts decided that the father did have legal custody and that the boys should be returned to him. There was a bunch of other stuff because of the dad being out of state, but... that's what was decided.
Between us and the bio dad, we decided that a quick transition was best. We decided to meet at a family friendly restaurant so that the boys could see that we get along and there was no threat. It went well, the boys were happy to see him.
We left the restaurant and I decided that they needed a going away present. So we stopped at Wal-mart. They chose a sword and shield, as well as a transformer. I agreed.
We went home, I allowed 7 to stay up as late as he wanted to play his video game. He stayed up until about 1:30. The next morning we were to meet dad at McDonald's and make the move. It was smooth and went well. and.... the boys left us.

Earlier that day, after court, I had decided to pick 7 up from school. He knew that I was going to court and that some big decisions would be made. The school allowed me to pick him up from school. I allowed Buggy Boo to come with me. As soon as 7 saw me enter the classroom, he burst out in frantic tears. "I don't want to leave!" He repeated in near hysteria. I felt bad and began to cry. All his classmates gathered around him and hugged him goodbye. That was probably the hardest thing of the whole ordeal. I felt I had let him down, and didn't prepare him properly. But I did as much as I could.

4 was a bit easier to break the news to. He goes with anyone who pays a bit more attention to him. He would follow you out the door if you had a bucket and shovel or a basketball. (He is a bit like Nanna Banana that way, and others too). When I told him, he said he would miss the dogs. LOL but he understood a bit, i think. I told him how lucky he was that so many people loved him and wanted to have him live with him. There was Shane and I, his bio mom, his bio dad, and 7's bio dad. The judge listened to all the people and everything they had to say, and decided that you would be best at 7's bio dad. I reiterated that 7's bio dad loved him very much.

I was taken back when on the way from Wal-Mart 7 offhanded mentioned that he hoped his dad wasn't going to be mean to him anymore. He told me his reasons. I thought, "these things would have been helpful A WEEK AGO!!!!" but... I told him that if he was hurt, or didn't feel safe or if anyone was mean to his brother, to tell his teacher. Hopefully, he will gain the same kind of relationship with her as he had with his teacher here.
That night, i began to think again of some of the conversations that I had with his dad and step mom and I became even more concerned. Emotionally stable children do not just randomly fling feces, break toys, tear their clothes and have tantrum outbursts. But... there is nothing I can do. I have done all I could and the only thing I COULD safely leave him with was "tell your teacher".

Now, I need to let it go. there is nothing I can do, I will never see 4 or 7 again, and all I can do is hope that they have a better life now. 

Hang on 7! remember to keep your deku shield handy, your sword equipped and be prepared for any dragons that may appear!

a new adventure, a new chapter, and a new dragon.

4? I hope you get the help, love and attention that you need. I hope your new family will love you like your bio mom as well as we did.

We love you, we miss you, and I hope that in the short time you were with us, that we gave you a lot of fun memories!

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